The Whole Other Half (BaC 2)

by Etcetera Thesis

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about

This is the second proper (home) studio album by Thesis, and the first to be recorded and engineered to the best of my abilities. All the mistakes are my fault. This album is dedicated to my wife, Dawn Iwanowski, who left me alone to make it while she worked out at the gym.

credits

released September 15, 2012

all songs written and performed by Lee Edward McIlmoyle, except where noted otherwise. Special thanks to my partner Gary Falkins for his contributions, to Dawn Iwanowski for her voice, and to Derrick Rose for Lady In The Field. Flute was supposed to be played by Jolene Davies, but she backed out, so Lee played bad keyboard parts instead.

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license

all rights reserved

about

Etcetera Thesis Music Hamilton, Ontario

Etcetera is a band that has been making music since 1993 in one formation or another. It went on hiatus in 1998, but got back together in 2006. On hiatus again.

Thesis is a recording project founded by Lee McIlmoyle and Gary Falkins of Etcetera to use up their unrehearsed songs.

The People's Republic of Limbo is Lee solo. More to come soon.
... more

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Track Name: Out Of Time
INTRO

This is not a dream
This is a... nightmare
All we thought we were is gone
We cannot stop the change
We have to come to grips
We've seen it coming for so long.

They've closed the factories
They've locked the metal doors
The keys to this town have been sold
There's no more steel here
There are no jobs for us
We need that paper made from gold.

And the skyline looks so clear
As we peer across the lake...

We tore Red Hill apart
We built the road to nowhere
So people could avoid this town
They tell us things will change
They tell us things will grow
But still the city's shutting down.

And our neighbours look so good
As we hit the Linc to go...

CHORUS:
We used to be a home to businessmen and artists
Back when this place was in its prime
This used to be the town that everyone else turned to
But now we're running out of time.

INSTRUMENTAL

It was never paradise
But it's getting hard to call home...

CHORUS:
We used to be a central pillar in this country
Before we withered on the vine
We cannot bear to leave and we can't afford to go
And we are running out of time.

OUTRO:
Out of time
Running out of time
Out of... time
We're out of time.

©2010, 2012 Lee Edward McIlmoyle
Etcetera Thesis Music
for the upcoming album, 'The Whole Other Half'
Track Name: Over The Garden Wall
[INSTRUMENTAL]
Track Name: One Up On You
Today
You got a surprise
Your love is gone
It's dead in her eyes.

Last night
She's early to rise
Fired the big one
That marked your demise.

CHORUS:
She lied when she spoke
Promises up in smoke
Your love line lies broke
What a joke that she's played on you
She's one up on you.

Next day
She can hardly disguise
She's going out
To collect her new prize.

Midnight
She has lust in her eyes
But she's not there
With your head between her thighs.

CHORUS:
She bitched when you sighed
Wondered why you never cried
Unhinged as she tried
To decide over him or you
He's one up on you.

These days
She's ignoring your cries
And yet you can't
Get a word in edgewise.

Late nights
No more whos wheres or whys
She even makes
Little cracks about size.

CHORUS:
She shows off her gown
She smirks when you frown
She plans to go down
To the town when she's out on you
She's one up on you
What else can you do?

INSTRUMENTAL

OUTRO:
She lied when she spoke
Promises up like smoke
Your love line lies broke
What a joke that she's played on you
She's one up on you.

Her words are like coke
One whiff and you're broke
They ask if you toke
As a cloak when she daggers you
She's moved out on you.

July'd with heat stroke
Up on stage you choke
She don't need your bit jokes
With that bloke she picked over you
She's cleared off on you
And he's done well by you.
Track Name: Show Me Something
Have faith in me
With your love I can do
Miracles
I just need
A chance to try.

Believe in me
With your trust I have the
Strength
To reach
And touch the sky.

Wait for me
I promise you will
Never regret it
And you'll never
Need to wonder why.

Be with me
You make me feel so real
I have the power to show you
That it's worth your time
Let me show that it's
Not a lie.

CHORUS:
Show me something
Give me something I can feel
That I can hold on to
Show me something
Give me a chance to prove
that I believe in you
Show me something
That says it's not to late
To find a way to your heart
Show me something
To reassure me we're not
Worlds apart.

Come to me
I burn in side for your
Company
In your arms
I need no reason to
Smile.

Talk to me
Your thoughts meean so much
I hang on every word
And I keep
Them faithfully on
File.

Share with me
I've love to give you and it
Runs so deep
I just swear
I'll make it worth your
While.

Make love to me
The feel of yoru body has
Etched itself in side my mind
You seem to fit just right
I guess I really love your
Style.

CHORUS:
I want to show you something
I'll give you something you can feel
That you can hold on to
And here's something
There's room to discover that
You believe in me too
I'll show you something
That says it's not too late
To find peace in my heart
Lemme show you something
To reassure you we're not
Worlds apart.

BRIDGE:
Woo ooo hoo woo hoo
Show me something
Woo ooo hoo woo hoo
Show me something

FINALE:
Show me something
Let em prove to you that
I'm the man you've been waiting for
I think you know the score
I'm the man who loves you most
And this I know for sure
Woah oh yeah.
Track Name: Light Gardening
[INSTRUMENTAL]
Track Name: Dinner Date
INTRO

Contemplating paintings
In a picturesque cafe
Waiting for a friend
To dine with me today

Glass keeps running dry
Clock keeps swinging round
i hear her pulling up
But she's nowhere to be found

CHORUS:
Waiting for my dinner date
Forgiving her for being late
Can't get used to this wait
The first course arrives
I'm swallowing the bait

Scanning wanted ads
In a street scene magazine
Trying to fill my time
Stop wondering where she's been

Some old friends of ours
Ask if she's doing well
One liners, a telling smile
To cover up what won't sell

CHORUS:
Stuck waiting for my dinner date
Got too much time to contemplate
How this seems too sedate
And her gift for
Making excuses is innate

I head a distant rhythm
New song runnign through my mind
Words I thought I'd never write
About leaving this behind

The waiter catches my eye
He knows what's going on
Wave him over, bill in hand
With a note telling her I'm gone

CHORUS:
Done waiting for my dinner date
Wishing she wouldn't make me wait
This seems to be my fate
I'm ready to go
So open up the gate

INSTRUMENTAL

FINALE:
When you remember me
Please drop me a line
I may be hard to reach
But I'm doing fine

I keep a place for you
Because nothing is the same
I know you've had things to do
So I guess no one's to blame

You
Have a voice of your own
And if you'd use it
We'd see how much you've grown

We
We could have shared
We could have shared so much
I hate to see you go
So try
Try to keep in touch.

OUTRO
Track Name: The Remains of Light Gardening
[INSTRUMENTAL]
Track Name: I'm Gone Again
CHORUS:
I'm gone again
So save those thoughts for me
I'll pay you back when I
Get the time
Don't ever lose sight of your dreams
And please don't ever lose faith in me
I'm gone again
But I'm coming home to you.

Seems I'm a bit of use after all
And I'm so damned glad, I don't know what to say
I thought I'd time to get it together
But I guess it'll have to wait
'Cuz they're calling em now
And it looks like I'm on my way.

CHORUS

Can't say I'm not sorry I missed your call
Been climbing the walls wondering if you would
I thought I'd gotten past the need
For other people to make me feel good
But I'm glad that you called
And I'd tell you so, if I could.

CHORUS

BRIDGE:
Hey... don't be afraid
Say what you mean to say
I never run away
Just a short delay
Knight Errant in relay
I'll be back some day...
...Soon.

CHORUS

OUTRO
Track Name: With Trowel In Hand...
[INSTRUMENTAL]
Track Name: She's Like The Weather
I sit here alone on the cross where I saw love die
And I cannot decide who went up, was it you or I?
I wander alone
I wonder too much
And I break down again each time I recall your touch.

I sent you a card for your birthday with a note inside
It read really nice, not a word about suicide
And it's gonna be late
When it gets to your door
And it's the same god-damned message as the one before.

CHORUS:
And I can't change her mind
Because she's like the weather
Never really know what you might find

And she won't speak her mind
Unless she sounds like no other
Thinks it's for the best when she's unkind.

You see me move off down the street from your window
And you're watching to see if you can guess just where I'll go
You've got me sized up
Got me all figured out
But as I park on the bench, do I hear a doubt?

I've read you're in parties this year and you're looking fine
And I've almost forgotten those nights with you drinking wine
But I've run out of steam
And I've run out of time
For these dreams that I had back when you were mine.

CHORUS:
And I can't face the day
When I think that she hates me
Never could explain how I come undone

No I can't change a thing
When she leaves without warning
Not a single word can unblock the sun.

INSTRUMENTAL

I used to believe that I knew just what I would do
If I ever found time to drive over and talk to you
I'd walk to your door
I'd walk into your arms
And fall victim to all of your subtle charms.

Many years later I sit and look back on us
It's kind of amazing when I think about all the fuss
I thought you were right
I knew I was wrong
But it's taken a decade to write this song.

CHORUS:
And I can't change her mind
Because she's like the weather
Asking me to stay when she's out of range

And she can't speak her mind
But she sounds just like her mother
Never really sure when she will change.

No I can't change your mind
But you break like the weather
Never really sure if I should stay

And I can't speak my mind
When you change with the seasons
Never could discern what else to say.

OUTRO: (round)
Never really know
How far she's gone
(repeat to fade)

____________________
START-FINISH
2002/07/05-2010/11/03
Track Name: ...We Dig In The Garden
[INSTRUMENTAL]
Track Name: Lady In The Field
INTRO

I met her in a golden field
But I wasn't free to say
How much she reminded me
Of an angel that day.

My life was really strange
I was working things out
Didn't know what to say
And my mind was full of doubt.

CHORUS:
Now she brings me hope
She, my lady in the field
Her eyes, her smile, her lips
I want to kiss her a thousand times.

Couldn't wish for anything
Better in my life
Hoping I am right
And one day she'll be mine.

I might just be blind
Might have read the wrong signs
I might just be lost in her
I might be out of my mind.

CHORUS:
Now she brings me hope
She, my lady in the field
Her eyes, her smile, her lips
I want to kiss her a million times.

Might just be a fool to hope
That an angel could love me
But I guess that I'll just
Have to wait and see.

OUTRO:

LEE: I might be a fool to hope
That an angel could love me

DERRICK: I hope that I am right
And one day she will be mine

GARY: I might just be blind
I might just be blind

repeat x1 acapella; [repeat x3 with music]
Track Name: No One In The World
Help me please
I can't define this open ending
So unique
These features draw me in with light bending

Hey... are you receiving any of these broken signals
Are they translating, is the message coming clear
Hey... I'm pretty sure, that is, I guess, oh what was I thinking
Just close your eyes and wait until I'm not here

There is no one in the world tonight
I listen for the voices that never come
There is nowhere in the space in my head
I can't remember where I ever came from

Apologies
They seem to get me just what I'm giving
Fucking weak
I've dreamed my way out of really living

Hey... do you think that you can come over tonight
I'll leave the door unlocked, just let yourself in
Hey... I know this isn't what either one of us was planning
But when you're here, there's no such thing as sin

There is no one in the world tonight
Who can reach me with a soul so real (surreal)
There is no love in the spaces between breaths
So breathe with me and show me how you feel

[instrumental]

There is no one in the world tonight
I listen for the voices that never come
There is nowhere in the space in my head
I can't remember where I ever came from

There is no one in the world tonight
Can't see you coming to this wasteland
There is no love in the space between us
Did you ever really understand?

[outro]
Track Name: Better Home Gardening
[INSTRUMENTAL]
Track Name: The Incurable Romantic
You never ask me if I want to see you
I always wonder if you care at all
I try to show you all the ways I need you
But you walk away the moment you see me fall.

You tell me that we're gonna last forever
You tell me that we both want the same things
I want to take you at your word but somehow
You always know the right excuse to bring.

BRIDGE:
I don't want to hear
The ways I've let you down
You know, I've been let down, too
I can't fix our broken world
When you refuse to let me
Do what I can do.

REFRAIN:
So tell me what you want from me
Or tell me you're needing something more
I keep holding up the line
In case you finally tell me what you need me for.

We used to share so many special things
I've grown accustomed to your smile
I reach for you but you just shrink away
We haven't been right in a long, long while.

We spent the best months of our lives in this space
Now every second here is filled with pain
Don't understand what made you change your heart
Won't ever feel a love so strong again

BRIDGE:
I don't want to hear
The ways I've let you down
You know, I've been let down, too
I can't fix our broken world
When you refuse to let me
Do what I can do.

[INSTRUMENTAL]

REFRAIN:
So tell me I'm the one for you
Or tell me there's no room for me
I keep holding up the line
In case you finally decide to set me free.

I used to think we were the perfect pairing
I used to tell all of my friends we're gonna last
I never thought you'd turn your back on me
I've never seen a train back up so fast.

I'm trying to get myself together
Trying to pack up and move on
Trying to put these memories in storage
Hope I forget you when you're gone.

REFRAIN:
So tell me how you yearn for me
Or tell me you're needing someone new
I'm just holding up the line
In case you finally tell me what to do.
Track Name: Adventures In Home Gardening
[INSTRUMENTAL]
Track Name: All This Time (Nothing More)
There are many roads to choose from in this life
There's a road for every dream you've ever had
And it's not these many roads you lose your soul upon
It's the road you feared to tread that drives you mad.

You may think you have the answers to all the questions
You can plan the whole thing out and not arrive
Even if you tuck the world into your pocket
You may never find a place to feel alive.

CHORUS:
All this time
There's been nothing better than to be with you
And the way (we hide from one another and still get through)
We cover all the miles between the two
As the days
Flash by with the things that are not true (leave you blue)
After all this time
There is nothing more for me than you.

BRIDGE:
You can climb too many mountains and never really feel high
You can reach the top but lose the urge to fly
You can sail around the world to find you've lost your way
You can find your way home, but can you stay?

[CHORUS]

There are many things that happen on the road to love
Get hurt and hooked and burned out of your mind
So the question isn't 'where would I be without you'
But is there anything this good that's left to find?
There is nothing else I haven't left behind.

[CHORUS]

We... go places together
Hand in hand together in all kinds of weather
We... support one another
Always offering good advice to each other
We... share everything
The whole world comes around to help us sing.

There are many roads to choose from in this life.

____________________
for Dawn
Track Name: Back Over The Garden Wall
[INSTRUMENTAL]
Track Name: The Morning Dew
I'll post them later; the revised lyrics are on the laptop
Track Name: On My Mind
INTRO

Now you're gone
It occurs to me
that in all this time
You never asked me what was on my mind.

Even you can see the irony of this
But I'm sure that you don't care enough to
Set things straight.

Will you still tell me
When I've asked too much
I want to trust you
But I'm not too sure of myself just yet.

Even I can see the problem starts with me
But I hope you understand
That I need a guiding hand.

So if you ask me
What's been on my mind
I want to tell you
But I'm afraid I won't like what I hear.

I can't see
The forest for the trees
Cart before the horse again
And I've reached the end of me.

I called you up, I thought I'd ask for help
But I couldn't speak my mind for praying
That the words would come out right.

We're coming to the end
And I'm trying to see things through
But I have to fight back tears when I think of
All the time I let slip through my hands for you.

And I'm so frustrated and
So bound and gagged inside
And I'm scared to leave without you
But I'm past due upon this shelf.

If you ever ask me
What's been on my mind
I just hope I answer you clearly
'Cause I'm dying to know myself
MY self
My SELF...

I...
Scare...
My...
Self...
Oh whoa....

OUTRO

© 1998, 2011 Lee Edward McIlmoyle
for Etcetera Thesis Music
from the Thesis albums 'Rough Works in the Margins' and 'The Whole Other Half'
Track Name: On The Furthest Shores
So if you ask me
What's been on my mind
I could tell you the whole story
If you want to start again
Again
Again...
Track Name: Old Man Saturn
INTRO (feat. nylon guitar & hand percussion)

VERSE:
Old Man Saturn's in the hallway
(I) can see him through the door
Always comes round to help me
Like the years before
Always knows when I'm not doing well
Riding around with the top down and my ass exposed
Just like nobody knows.

We sit down at the kitchen table
And he pours the wine
Asks me how I've been doing
I lie and say I'm fine
Smiles at me and just shakes his head
Asks, "How long you gonna play this game?
You got no one else to blame."

BRIDGE:
"All the things I thought I wanted
All the things I had to say
Everything just slips away."

[INSTRUMENTAL 1 (feat. mandolin & cello)]

"Let's get down to brass tacks," he says
As he sips the wine
"Your real problem is your fear of drowning
And your fear of flying
You have to learn to accept some risk
Nothing ever happens 'til you take a chance
Change your circumstance."

I answer, "Easy for you to say
You've never had to choose
In all these years that I've known you
Never seen you lose
Everything always just goes your way
You're not the one whose been dealt this hand
You don't really understand."

"Everything I try won't turn out right
Every single choice I'm forced to make
Can't you see that it's my fate?"

[INSTRUMENTAL 2 (feat. lead guitar and bass)]

"Son," he says, "You've got me all wrong
Now listen hear
I've made my fair share of mistakes
And I know from fear
There's a fine line between concerned and scared
Only fools think that they can do no wrong
No need to be headstrong."

"You see, it's not that you have bad luck
Not the way you think
You have a tendency to freeze up
When you start to sink
You have to learn to get your timing down
That golden moment just before you're late
You must never hesitate."

BRIDGE
"It's the hardest thing to pull off
Stepping into the unknown
Finally embracing how you've grown."

[INSTRUMENTAL 3 (feat. violin & piano)]

VERSE:
He says, "Look at your situation
It's not all bad
All these people really love you
Best you've ever had
When you gonna show them some gratitude?
Spinning through life like a Catherine Wheel
How does it make them feel?"

I argue for my limitations
And he just smiles
Says, "You've got to stop pretending
Be yourself for a while
You'll never make it as someone else
Hasn't it occurred to you this shit don't work?
Stop being a fucking jerk."

BRIDGE:
All the things I've worked so hard for
All the promises I've made
Seems the last card has been played.

[INSTRUMENTAL 4 (strings and winds)]

VERSE:
Old Man Saturn says he's leaving
"My work's done here
Try to pull yourself together
See you in a year
Remember there's more to life than compromise
Can only give what's there inside of you
To thine own self be true."

Old Man Saturn gets up from his seat
Heads for the door
He always leaves his glass half empty
Never wanting more
I still don't understand a thing he said
La dada dee da da da dum da dee dum
Probably all in my head.

Old Man Saturn's in the hallway
I watch him walk away
I don't go after him to ask if
He'd like to stay
In all these years it's always been this way
Only comes around for Transformation Day
There's nothing else left to say.

BRIDGE:
All the things I thought I stood for
All the things I've ever known
The lack of meaning has been shown.

OUTRO (feat. piano & violin)


© 2012 Lee Edward McIlmoyle
Etcetera Thesis Music
for the album 'The Whole Other Half (BaC2)'
Track Name: Last Call
[INTRO]

An old roadhouse blues man
Climbs up on the stool
Moans incoherently into the mic
But his guitar sounds so cool.

You can't recall how long
You've been coming to hear him play
A lifetime of forgetting
Seems it's always been this way.

And it's a long way back to the place
That you used to call your home.

[BRIDGE]

It's time to hit the road
They're clearing up the place
The blues man packs his Gibson
In an old brown leather case.

You polish off your beer
And wipe the suds away
You've got nowhere to sleep tonight
But you know where you can stay.

And it's a long way back to the place
That you used to call your home.

[INSTRUMENTAL; Tenor Saxaphone]

And it's a long way back to the place...

© 2011 Lee Edward McIlmoyle
Etcetera Thesis Music
for the Thesis album, "The Whole Other Half"
Track Name: Here It Comes Again
You may have been wondering
Where I've gotten to lately lately
But I can tell you
That it's nowhere you haven't been.

And you may even ask yourself
If I'm on something you haven't tried
But it's just the world
Perhaps in a light you haven't seen.

Yeah, it's alright, babies
I tell you the world
Has not come to an end
Yeah, things have been scary
But it's only our minds
That have gone round the bend.

You may need a clear explanation
For truth that's as plain as your face
But it'll work out alright
If we can just learn to wipe the slate clean.

BRIDGE:
You
You have the sweetest eyes
And you see
You see everything under these blue skies
Now
Now you're having another thought
But it don't
It don't fit with all you've been taught
Back in public school
But you don't have to play the fool.

CHORUS:
It's coming round
Hang in there
Help is always on the way
It's coming round
Don't get crazy
Tomorrow's always another day
Please don't frown
You can bend
You don't have to break from the strain
Don't slip down
Every dog sees a brighter day
So don't miss your turn
Because here it comes again.

INSTRUMENTAL

You may see me pondering
Over what I've done lately
But you can bet
I'm not lost in a daze.

And you may even catch me out
With some new verse that I haven't tried
But it's just the words
That I devised 'round some clever phrase.

Yeah it's all these maybes
That make you feel alone
Out in the cold
Yeah, truths you can bury
But it's all of these lies
That make you feel so old.

You may need a better translation
To figure out all of the jokes
But you'll get a laugh alright
If you've caught all the latest word plays.

BRIDGE:
You
You never criticise
And you see
You see all that the truth implies
Now
Now you find you're neck deep in the lot
But it don't
It's don't look like the deal we bought
Back in beautician's school
So why you wanna play the fool?

CHORUS:
It's coming round
Hang in there
Help is always on the way
It's coming round
Don't get crazy
Tomorrow's always another day
Please don't frown
You can bend
You don't have to break from the strain
Don't slip down
Every dog sees a brighter day
So don't miss your turn
Because here it comes again.

OUTRO

© 1995, 2010 Lee Edward McIlmoyle
Etcetera Thesis Music
from the upcoming album 'The Whole Other Half'